Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What are three skills that you would like to have, and why?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

Horoscope for Tuesday, 6/10/25 by Christopher Renstrom - SFGATE

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How can someone living alone in their own apartment reduce the cost of their electric bills?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

Why do atheists demand that everyone must accept their own self-definition? Is that any different from demanding others must accept their choice among 87 genders or be labeled as a bigot?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

What was your first experience like with a black man?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I see through liars

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes